Julia stared at her ceiling blankly. Being at home for a whole week made her gather all her scattered thoughts but it only made her more anxious. She closed her eyes and sang.
“Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there’s something there
There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking
But she doesn’t know he’s there”
Another song to sing when she needs to calm herself down. Well, sometimes it’s just making it worse until she cries. Bobby, her cat jumped out to join her on her bed. “Bobby, can I talk to you? Or should I call Nino?”. Bobby closed his eyes and laid his head on Julia’s waist. He’s the cutest cat on earth.
“Nino? I’m sorry I have to call you again today”
“What’s going on?”
“Am I disturbing you?”
“You have to be honest with me, Nino”
“Ok, yes you are. I’m in the middle of my dinner time”
“What do you have for dinner?”
“Again? You made it or delivery?”
“I made it.”
“Oh I really wanna go to your house. Can you just open your own restaurant with delivery service?”
Nino stopped munching his pizza and smiled.
“Or, Nino, we can just live together”
Nino knows that whenever Julia says that, it’s just a joke.
“Jules, why are you calling me? Is something wrong?”
“Yeah.. I think I need an online counseling session”
“why? oh Jules, before you continue.. I wanna thank you”
“the package you sent for me. It has arrived! Thank you so so much”
“Do you like it?”
“Are you kidding me? It’s just a box of donuts but I love it so much! because it came just when I really need it”
“You’re welcome, Nino” Julia smiled
“ Thank you. Thank you for being here with me, calling me. Thank you for keep making me sane. Thank you for always push me to do my best. Thank you for saying that my cooking is not suck. Thanks for… Jules?”
Julia sobbed and covered her face with her blanket.
“Jules? You okay?”
“Nino, why are you suddenly thanking me?”
“I just…you silly, you’re giving me donuts when I told you that I’m not in a good condition. It’s not a sudden thankful message!!”
“I.. I just thought that maybe I have to call a counselor.. I think… I.. I envy people too much.. you know? whenever I think about it, there’s no reason to make it right… it’s wrong… it’s wrong, Nino. But why am I keep beeing like this? Why am I keep envying other people? There’s something wrong with my brain.. I.. I hate it.. There’s something wrong too with my self esteem. Like I feel inferior. I hate it… Nino… what should I do now? I hate.. I hate myself” Julia cried even harder.
Nino went silent.
“when you’re thanking me.. you’re saying things as if I were your savior”
“but you are..”
Julia could not continue to reply Nino.
“Jules.. if you really need a counseling session, I’m gonna call Gina. Do you know her? I think she can help you”
“Nino.. thank you”
“If only this pandemic never exists”
“You could get here?”
“yeah.. of course. You’re my only friend that I can trust”